“Dear Deanna: My Nurse Manager is so unapproachable that she scares me. We never know what she is thinking or if she even likes the nurses that work our unit. What can we do?”
Being a Nurse Manager is not the easiest position in our profession. You must first remember that your Nurse Manager is trying to make two groups of individuals happy. First there is the staff that she manages and then there are the administrators to which she answers to. It is like walking a tightrope. If he or she has been a Nurse Manager for a short period of time, say less than a couple of years, I would attribute much of her “hands off” approach to not really being sure as to how she should interact with the staff. Should she be “all about business” all of the time, or should she “adjust to the tone” as needed.
I personally had some difficulty with this for awhile but it was due to believing my staff did not really want me out there intermingling with them. I didn’t like the disconnect so I told myself, “hey, I happen to like the people that I lead and I want to be a positive part of their workday.” I started eating lunch with them, talking about our personal lives, and laughing. Over the past few months I truly believe that my staff are much happier and that we truly have an “easier” relationship because they now see the human side of me.
Get your peers together and ask you manager to have lunch….the only thing that she can say is no. Let her know that you want to get to know her. The ice will be broken and you will see a new manager that is more approachable…. Let me know how it turns out.
Got a question for Deanna? Leave a comment and she’ll get back to you.
October 24th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Deanna-
Do your staff still have the respect for you even though you mingle with them? I know that my boss says that in order to stay professional it is not great for anyone in management to be too friendly with the nurses that they manage. Can you give me your opinion on this?
October 24th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Hi Tamara, that is a great question. My staff have more respect for me now than ever. I am there as a resource for them always and they know that I take my practice quite seriously. The saying goes, “there is a time and place for everything.” They know when I need to be all about business and they know when we can laugh together. We have a very clear understanding and even when I am giving them advice I make it fun. We base everything on evidence and they are getting very used to me saying, “We can make the change if you bring me the evidence.” The most important concept is respect. If a manager truly has the respect of her staff she can certainly set the tone of the situation. I hope this helps with your question. Maybe your manager can take a look at my response too. Take care!
Got a question for Deanna? Leave a comment and she’ll get back to you.
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